This is our newest contributor’s first post. Welcome Ticallion The Baptist (Aka Dario Balunovic) to the blog!
Lately, I’ve had a lot on my mind about self worth and I feel this needs to be said on my behalf and anyone else going through the same ordeal I went through.
I’m gonna say this and I’m going to say it once. Never give someone the opportunity to waste your time twice. Now, we all give second chances and sometimes second chances turn into third chances and third chances turn into forth chances, and fifth chances, and twentieth chances. And eventually you even forget what you’re even fighting for.
But if you fail to appreciate yourself first and love yourself first and cater to yourself first, you will continues to accept every single bit of bullshit the other party is willing to give you. You must figure out and realize what exactly it is that you deserve. And once you figure that out you must accept nothing less.
But it starts with you. We teach people how to treat us. Running away from someone’s bullshit a million times means absolutely nothing if you’re willing to run back to the same bullshit a million and one. You have subconsciously taught the other party that regardless of what they do to you, regardless of the pain they caused, regardless of how bad they fucking hurt you, you’ll always be there.
You cannot change people. You can influence a person’s decision. You can motivate and help influence a change but you cannot cause said change. You cannot force said change. People change when people want to change. People grow when people want to grow. If a person does not want to grow, if a person does not want to better themselves, they will not and you cannot change that. A person’s desire to change must be greater then their desire to stay the same, and entirely too many people are entirely too comfortable.
If the other party truly cares about you, if they truly want you to stick around, they will be willing to do whatever it takes to keep you around. If it is important to them they will find a way, if it is not they will find an excuse. Do not forget that.
You cannot make room in your heart for someone else if you don’t have just as much room for yourself, if not more. You can’t rent out the room if you don’t own the house. Love is hard, but it’s not impossible. Sometimes when we feel inadequate, when we feel cheated by the other party, we convince ourselves that we expect too much, when in reality we expect too little. When in reality, the other party is not capable of giving us what we deserve.
But we endure, we stick around and we cry ourselves to sleep at night and we lose ourselves hoping that one morning they’ll wake up and find us. But you have to find you before anyone else can. You have to know exactly where you are and exactly where you stand before you can give anyone else the coordinates. You can’t make people appreciate you. You can’t make people see the sacrifices that you’ve made for them. You can’t make people realize what they would or would not have without you. And you can’t make people give you just as much as you give them.
The more you love yourself, the more your self love will project onto other people. And eventually you’ll start attracting other people both, platonically and romantically, who love you just as much as you love yourself. People who want to give you just as much as you give them. All in all, if you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone, you’ve already forgotten your value. Sacrifices made for love are fine, unless the sacrifice is you.