After The Anger

I know that there are so many people that are either going through this or have gone through this. And you need to know that you aren’t fucking alone. Everyone goes through this, it fucking sucks but that’s life.

I went through a break up earlier this year – it was hands down the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life. But I’m proud of myself, the way I handled the break up, and the way that I’m moving on. And as much of a mess that I was, and wanting to feel bad for myself and get pity from others and act out and not be myself, I realized that’s not what I should be doing at all.

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So, here’s what I did. I wasn’t angry. I did not let anger or hate or animosity live in my heart, even though I kept telling myself it was the other person’s fault for the whole demise; and it wasn’t their fault, it was mine. Because I got that person to that point for the relationship to crumble and end in a disaster. I failed.

What people fail to realize is after you go through a break up and you’re mad at the other party, it’s because they either hurt you, or you have to convince yourself they hurt you because in actuality, you hurt them.

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Whatever the situation may be, once that anger subsides, the only thing left is love. When you truly love someone you cannot stay mad at them, you can only hold a grudge against them for a certain amount of time whether it’s a day, a week, a month, a year.

But think about it. Let’s say you’re angry with your ex for a period of a year after you break up. Once that anger goes away, all the other emotions that you should have been feeling after the break up, they start coming out. Unfortunately you’ve been masking them for a year, so you’re just now feeling this. While you’re feeling all these different emotions, the ultimate thing you’re going to think is, “Damn, I want them back.”

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But a year has passed, the other party’s moved on and here you are stuck with these emotions by yourself because you wanted to be mad. It’s not worth it. I don’t give a fuck what they did to you, forgive them and move on. And now if you’re sitting there thinking, “Dario, but they hurt me so bad, how the fuck am I supposed to forgive them?”

Think of the positives that are coming from the break up. The positives coming from the heartbreak following the break up. I know, I know, I know it’s hard to think about the positives. Think about the person you’ll be after that heart break. Think about all the ways that it’s changed you, all the ways its bettered you, the ways that its strengthened you so you don’t have to go through this again.

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Heart break, in my opinion, is the worst thing that you could ever feel, but it’s inevitable, it’s human, we’re all human. We all want love. Unfortunately you have to take a chance, maybe it’ll work out, maybe it won’t. And in the unfortunate case that it does not work out, you have to be ready. As bad as the last person hurt me by doing what they had to do, I’ve never felt…. More…. I’ve never felt free.

In spite of all the bullshit that I went through with them, I’ve never learned more from anyone because of that. I have no choice but to be grateful. Crazy, right? Grateful for the person that’s hurt me the most. But in spite of all the pain I am a better person, I’m a smarter person, I’m a stronger person, I’m… myself, I found me.

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Don’t succumb to none of that petty shit trying to find a rebound or trying to make your ex jealous, it’s not going to do anything but hurt you. It might hurt them, it may affect them a little but ultimately it’s affecting you. You’ve got to find a way to be happy without them. Because you might think that love goes away, but it doesn’t, just have to learn to live without it. And you’ll get there, I promise you, you’ll get there but it takes time. It takes a lot of time.

All in all forgive them, I don’t care what they did to you, you got to move on for you – not for them. I promise it’ll be okay. And take notes; learn from the last person so you don’t make the same fucking mistakes with the next person. What’s the use for paying for the class if you can’t pass the test? Keep your head up.

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